The X Factor: Self Discipline To Find Self Confidence

“Rome was not built in a day.” – John Heywood

This common adage should be repeated almost as a mantra in most of our minds. It perfectly describes how we should approach any goal. Remember, everything is a process and nothing of worth comes easy.

When you see a successful person, what is it that you are really seeing? Someone with a nice car, in great shape, a big home, a family taking extravagant trips, etc., but what you do not see are the efforts and discipline that person puts into their specific craft to create such a lush lifestyle. I would say the vast majority of these successful individuals could tell you about years of sacrifice. They could tell you about missing events, loss of friends, and having to ignore the criticism from those around them. But what sets them apart from the average Joe? Were they born with some “It” factor that makes them different from the rest of us? Absolutely not. In fact, I would argue that the answer to their success is actually quite simple. What these successful individuals have become masters of is known as self discipline. Self discipline is the “X” factor when it comes to success and once it has been implemented appropriately into your life, something crazy happens…..you develop self confidence. Through your trials you have found you can trust yourself. You know you will persevere no matter the obstacles. You know you cannot be deterred. You have found the key to the future you want. But how can we develop our own self discipline?

We tend to think of our lives as ever changing calendars, that we have little control over. We repeatedly say there isn’t enough time in a day, we assume that things will go according to how we planned them in our calendars and tend to forget that nothing is certain. Priorities change daily and with those changes comes confusion. Emotions can run high, anxiety sets in and the first items to be removed from our calendars are plans we made for ourselves. We make excuses to skip the gym. We accept a last minute invitation to go to the bar with a friend and drink too much. However, if you take a step back and add up enough of these inconsistencies, you are left with a person with potential who has come up short of their own goals. They have no confidence that they can stick to a decision and have therefore created a shell of the potential person that he or she could have been. But, the same is true if we go the other way…we can build our discipline…we can build our confidence.

No one is born with confidence. It is a learned mindset. For those of you that do not see yourselves as “confident” people, know that this can be changed. Confidence is built one self-promise at a time. For example, if we promise ourselves we are going to get up in the morning and not hit snooze and do just that, we have added a brick to our Rome. However, if we wake up and immediately break that self-promise by sleeping 10 more minutes, then we begin to build our lives around that forever looming uncertainty. That lack of belief in one’s own abilities will lead you nowhere. Fortunately, if you have the discipline to keep those small promises you make to yourself, you will begin to believe you can achieve much loftier goals.

How did they build Rome? One brick at a time. How do we get to the summit of Everest? With one step. How do we build wealth? With one thoughtful investment. How do we get fit? With one meal and one workout. You put enough steps together aimed in one direction, then one day you will reach the place you want to go.

So, how do you start? How do you gain self discipline? How do you build self confidence? One brick at a time…

-Coach Ryan

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